I arrived late, exhausted, and ready to collapse into bed. Unfortunately, my stay quickly turned into a live-action horror comedy.
Night one: I was jarringly awakened by a man screaming in the hallway. He appeared to be holding an impromptu TED Talk about the hotel's cleanliness, though his exact words were hard to decipher—maybe due to the panic or the echo off the suspiciously sticky walls. I managed to fall back asleep, chalking it up to “crazies.”
Morning one: I opened my door and two roaches sprinted into my room like they were checking in for their own stay. I played exterminator with my shoe, which honestly deserves hazard pay at this point.
Later that evening, I met another roach—this one on the bathroom wall. I tried to channel my inner ninja and struck it down, only for it to land on my towel. At that moment, I decided I would not be bathing here. I slept fully clothed like I was camping in the wilderness... with questionable linens. Speaking of which, a massive mystery stain on the bed sheet revealed itself like a jump scare in a horror film. Too tired the night before to notice—lucky me.
Checkout morning: One final roach made a farewell appearance as it scurried behind the headboard like it was clocking out of a shift. I didn’t wait to say goodbye. I grabbed my things, loaded up my car, and got out faster than a contestant in a haunted house challenge.
In summary, if you’re looking for a hotel that includes a midnight hallway performance, surprise bug